Showering is a difficult task if you are triathlete. Maybe, it’s because triathletes spend countless hours wet whether it’s in an ice bath, a contrast bath, the pool or just drenched with sweat their bodies are just...wet. When it comes to showering, it’s in their control whether or not they are going to have to get wet and after living with one I find it’s usually a no go. In it’s defense triathlon isn’t really a stinky sport, like hockey where you have to put on raunchy equipment every time, and triathletes do spend a lot of time in pools which contains disinfectant properties, so maybe this is another reason to opt out of a shower. Anyways, here’s how I tactfully have gotten Brent to shower everyday for the last week!
First let me explain to you, that Brent never stinks however recently I have been noticing that the chlorine is not washed out of his hair because it stands straight up on it’s own, and it has tangles in it.
Early on, I tried to ask Brent to shower and here are his list of excuses:
-I had a shower on deck after swimming
-I sat in the hot tub after swimming
-I just iced my legs I don’t want them to get warm
-I have another workout later, what’s the point
-My hair is easily styled with this residue in it
-I just swam this morning!
Then I started to demand a shower (or no sleeping in the clean sheets), which seemed to work until we both tried to outsmart one another. I would hear the shower running but when his hair didn’t change it’s appearance I grew skeptical, so I set up a soap trap. I would place the soap in distinctive positions either leaning against a bottle, or up against the wall at a precise angle, to prove if Brent had touched it or not. Brent failed this soap trap 4 days in a row. I asked him and here are the excuses i got:
-I’m using the shampoo as soap too!
-I ran out of hot water
-It makes me smell like a girl
- I just swam this morning!!
I even fought with him about scrubbing certain body parts here is what he said:
-the suds from the shampoo on the bottom of the tub clean my feet
-deodarant is soap for my armpits
-I wash my face before bed
-And the infamous, never old, I just swam this morning (It cleans my whole body)!
Turns out Brent was stretching in the shower, and he never even had intention to wash.
I started to really grow frustrated with these excuses and lack of soap use. So I set out to Target to find some sort of remedy. The simple solution to this problem hit me in the pharmacy section.....swagger.
Swagger, the name sold me immediately as I was positive it would have the same effect on Brent. And did it ever!!! The first time he used it I heard him singing Little Wayne in the shower! He loved the man pouff, he even read the directions to understand what both sides were used for, and the fact that it’s called Active Clean was even better!
This is now what I hear from Brent about “lil’ Wayne showers”:
-I even scrubbed my feet with the coarse side and it felt good
-I like the pouffy part, it’s lathers well
-I wonder if Lil’Wayne uses Swagger?
-It smells good all day long
So it’s been a week now, and he is addictive to the man pouff and Swagger, i’ve even heard him tell some friends.
You know you’re living with triathlete when:
-you have heard the excuse “I just swam this morning” at least a dozen times and for many different reasons
-you know what a deck shower is